Close up on a bed in a bedroomIf you’re a woman who has found her love life slipping away, you could be one of the millions of women who struggle with low libido and desire. Many women between the ages of 35 and 60 struggle with the challenge of little or no sex drive and the wedge it can place between them and their partner.

What causes a lack of sexual desire?

A disinterest in sex has many different and sometimes complex causes including hormones–we can blame all sorts of problems on those. Estrogens in women and male hormones (androgens) for men decrease over time and can take your sex drive right along with them. Other factors that can zap your romantic mood include:

  • Stress
  • Menopause and its side effects (like vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse)
  • Depression and depression medications
  • Self esteem issues and more

Remember I said the issues were complex? There’s not always a clear cut answer to any one person’s bedroom woes but if you’re struggling, start by seeing your doctor. Make sure that any physical issues (such as hormonal shifts) or psychological issues (like depression or stress) have been evaluated and managed. If you believe your struggles require the help of a trained couples counselor, don’t be afraid to seek professional help until you can overcome the issue.

Other methods you can try

Once your doctor has given you the all clear, there are a few options you can try to help get your love life back on track.

  • Menopausal shifts: If you are struggling with menopausal, peri-menopausal changes, or just low estrogen you may struggle with vaginal dryness and pain when you have sex. Try using a lubricant to make intercourse more comfortable . You may also need to spend a little more time on foreplay than you have in the past.
  • Stress: Battle this common problem with exercise (yoga, swimming or walking are great choices) a few hours before bed if you can. You may also choose to just sit with your partner and discuss your day. Sometimes sharing your worries or feelings is enough to help ease your concerns and feel better.
  • Just do it. No we aren’t a shoe commercial, but sexual health experts say that sometimes just nudging yourself on into a situation even when the desire isn’t terribly strong is okay. Patients often report that once they get going, their sexual drive increases. So have faith in yourself and make a little effort even when you may not feel like it. It may turn out alright.

Other ways to improve your sex life include talking openly with your partner about your preferences and spend time cultivating a solid emotional relationship with him or her. If you have concerns about your sexual health, Dr. Hessel is here to help. She can provide guidance about the best ways to manage some of these common conditions, make sure your body is physically healthy and refer you to other specialists if the need arises.  Contact us today to find out more about how we can help.